Reaching through the wall

Spring #3 of our “flower store” tradition, although I didnt notice it was our own little-made-up-holiday…until I was standing here on this delightful first-sunday of May; celebrating life, blooming all around us. Seeing the past three years spent together unravel in the petals of these roses. Once again mesmerized by the sacred geometry hidden in the Dahlias…and of course, every year; running my fingers through the lavender sprigs. Keeping the scent with me throughout the day.

It’s been Three years of wondering which flower is going to catch Gaia’s eye this time. Ask her where she’s going to plant it. Last year we were on a mission to find a “blueish-purple” flower, and to my demise…this is not a color-combo nature uses in her pallet very often. Atleast not in her garden. Because I remember leaving disappointed.

This year Gaia was on the hunt for yellow. Which in every way is so fitting, despite my intial judgement; “yellow??? Of all the beautiful colors…why yellow?”  I asked….

“Because it’s the color of the sun…duh Shan”


I think above all else…that’s why this season brings me back to life…as a family, gardening (amongst many other hobbies we all mutually enjoy) is when I can really see the lesson in the simple things. As Ryan and I try to teach her about the earth; our home. Loving and caring for all it’s little critters, and helping the beauty grow…

She is really teaching us. 

Or teaching me. Atleast, because let’s be honest…to see life through her eyes is like seeing for the first time. Everything is splendid to her. Even the yellow flowers, I’ve looked past for years, maybe even my entire life. 

And I do that more often than not. Look past most of it. I’m finding more and more, as I continue on this new found path of writing, and recording, that I am finally becoming present. Whereas, before I was roaming my life blinded, always Elsewhere.

So naturally – the spring has always allowed me to reconnect. Ironically rooting me further into the ground. The beauty of it is not only do I get to connect again with nature itself…now that we’ve all crawled out of our winter caves….but with my family, with Ryan and Gaia. And with myself, my journey. Spring makes it loud and clear….with literal “life” blooming in your face, she’s delicately screaming….find out what inspires you…

Aside from spending all my childhood drawing, and getting lost (or finding myself) in the Lion King. And doing everything else in the wonderful-sometimes not so-wonderful life of a kid, I remember gardening. With my Aunt Donna especially, picking berries, planting tomatoes….we were always outside. Chasing bumble-bees, only to learn…..don’t chase bumble-bees 🙈 you will get stung. Making wishes on dandelions. Fireflies in mason jars. Counting spots on lady bugs. Helping flowers grow… hands and feet covered in dirt. 

Something about it always felt magical. And today, 20-plus years later I realize why…

I am inspired by nature. By the growth in all living things. By re-birth. By change. I am inspired by the colors. The warmer sun. And soft breeze, dancing with the budding trees. The purpose of rain. Birds singing you awake. And everything in between. 

I can see it in my art, clearly. Nature is what has moved me, always. Its been the muse to my every step, and the catalyst to my every fear. Planting new hopes inside me every year…

Until today….

When the dandelions asked me this time around; what inspires you now? 

The thing is, it’s still the same. Because the closer you look into nature, and all her glory. The more you look into something out of focus pulling the strings. A force behind each reaching root, each rolled up fern. A power source…Abundantly scarce. Eternally, withering. When you look close enough, you can witness the master behind the canvas. Pure life – unfolding before your eyes. Beginning to end. Seed to tall tree. Nature is the novel written by Love. With hidden messages between all the weeds. Letters from God. 

What inspires me now? With little thought I smiled, took a closer look at that dandelion; then back at Ryan and Gaia; I answered…


Song : The Garden by Kari Jobe

Location: Atlantic Nursery

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