Drowning in a thousand pounds of Salt.

On December 4th, 2016 we opened Nova. A 5,000 sq. foot warehouse meant for all things creative, and all things well; that Ryan and I dream-pt about creating five years from now. Our five year plan, become a reality over the course of 13 months.

No one could have prepared us for it’s magnificence. For it’s depth. And weight.

For it’s unruly – divine magistrate in our lives.

She came to us like most “big” events in my life do. Very suddenly. Like I said, this was a five year plan. But not even a week later we were signing a lease on a hopeless abandoned second story. The drive in, I wanted to pull away countless times, because my surroundings began to scare me. But something nudged. Something called.

The Nova Sanctuary. All we had was the name. A very faint, distant concept. But we had it. And now the space, presented to us bare bones and all. No fancy wrapping or bow attached…We began to build. Well, they began to build. Ryan and Jon…I hibernated for most of the year. Because like most “big” events in my life, I am terrified in the midst of them. Drowning in the sea of change until I have reached land. Two feet on the ground, looking back…only to become nostalgic over the sunsets I stressed through, the water carrying me- effortlessly along. It all seems so pleasant  once you’re on the other side.

So I confess, I hid my head under the covers for her 13 month long – inconceivable transformation from cold concrete walls to the delicately painted molding, hugging every inch of her. All the while I was a closet full of emotions, all zeroed in on what our future was going to look like. 

An impossible feat in any case…

On December 4th, the covers came off. The future was now. A part of me would refer to it as a smack in the face, but equally a kiss. Because even with the heavy weight of fear, crushing me…it was and is the greatest gift in my life. A safe haven, not just for me, but better yet for everyone else who walks in the door. A Sanctuary. 

Despite the grooling fact that I have little experience in running a business. Becoming a “boss”overnight, at least that’s how it has felt…has been quite the oppurtunity for growth. As the days go on, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that every experience; work related, socially, artistically…has led me to this point. Molding and shaping me, to be the very person I am today for Nova. 

Over a year ago I would have been perfectly content with my little life, tattooing consistently, possibly growing and developing my skill there, becoming a better “homemaker”, finding more time for my social life. For my program. But that wasn’t the path for me. Something, out there…wanted more for me. Wanted more for us. So I am here to honor that, and hopefully greet Fear in the face, invite him for coffee at the cafe, maybe even lay a mat next to him for yoga. Get to know Fear, and hopefully find that like all my other seemingly possessive emotions…it won’t kill me, but will absolutely make me stronger. 

And I think, that is and will always be the purpose of creating this space. And above all other trials this endeavor has awakened, I think learning to trust will be the greatest of them all…

It is impossible to drown…in a thousand pounds of salt.